It's Okay if it Doesn't Work out (but what if it does?)

Being an idealistic creative in a cynical industry

Photo by Levi Meir Clancy on Unsplash

There’s a little optimistic worm inside my ear that tends to perk up whenever I get cynical about the future. It’s technicolour and glow in the dark and just a real pain in the ass. Sometimes I just want to pluck it out and stomp on it, but I never do because it reminds me that to give up on my creative aspirations is to give up on myself.

I’m going into my last year of university this month and for the first time I’m facing the void of well, what comes next? I recently read this post by Freya over on Fig Jam about the topic (check it out if you haven’t).

The Prison of Choice

Something she said really resonated with me:

I think it’s for this reason that I started to write here. I know that I’m not someone who can give up on her passions in place of stability, even though I sometimes wish I were. Maybe things would be easier for me if I was passionate about something more lucrative, like economics or maths.

I felt that if my writing wasn’t monetized, or if it didn’t serve a “higher purpose” it wasn’t worth sharing or making. But what if that doesn’t matter? I started this Substack to let go of that expectation. This is just about writing, pure and true, and reminding myself of what made me fall in love with it in the first place. There’s a Sarah Snook (Shiv in Succession) interview where she shares some advice her mum gave her about how auditioning is really the job, and the acting is the bonus. I think a lot of creative fields (including writing) are like that. All the practice, the rejections, and the disappointments are the job, getting paid for it is the bonus.

Photo by Ioann-Mark Kuznietsov on Unsplash

As I research my future, I keep finding that there’s a lot of creative cynicism in the world, and for good reason. Capitalism is venom to creativity. It forces free flowing though into a tight box so that it can be sealed, packaged and sold ad infinitum. We are constantly told there is no place for art anymore and that to be “worthy” we must have monetary value. That’s the biggest lie I’ve ever heard. We’re all here, aren’t we? Isn’t that enough?

Maybe the reason why there’s so many young adults like me writing about whatever streaks through our minds is that we’re trying to make sense of it all by rejecting the box. No niche, just free-flowing thought and pure, unfiltered creativity. It’s something I’m coming to love about the community on here. It really feels like a group diary where we all share our musings on the world from all over the world and that’s a beautiful thing. If you feel the same, I really urge you to check out Louise Stigell over at The Calm Creative. She’s all about rejecting the idea of a niche and focusing on the quality over the quantity of your connections as a creative business. She’s a real lighthouse in the fog of capitalist hustle culture.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

To tell you the truth, I haven’t quite figured out how to balance dream with reality. I oscillate between no one can stop me and screw this I’m going to become an accountant. But I know that it doesn’t matter what I do, as long as I keep writing because keeping that part of me well stoked like a healthy fire is what keeps me going. So, I’m not going to stop musing about the world and my place within it. I’ll keep concocting little one sentence stories during random walks. I’ll keep seeing beauty in the rainy days, and the buffeting winds. Because even when it gets hard, and sometimes impossible, at least I have my words, and that’s certainly enough.